Monday, June 11, 2012

For Real Toads: some longer doggerel

It's Open Link Monday for the online writers' group Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, and Kerry has invited everyone (members and non-members alike) to post their writing: something old or something new, probably nothing borrowed, but maybe something blue.
Recently, my intrepid photographer and husband, Richard Schear, has been fending for himself in the kitchen. I'm sure that's why he agreed to renovate the kitchen. We are on entirely different diets, and my bland diet doesn't fit well with his weight-loss one. He is losing weight nicely, by the way, and lookin' good. I'm, well, I'm not well, and I fear I'm becoming very bland.
So, now that he is cooking, I feel safe in resurrecting this oldie I once scribbled on the back of a list of dietary advice from Alberta Health Services. It has rhyme, but no real reason, at least not any more.
one day I coughed up something green
the meanest green I've ever seen
with something of a puce-ish sheen
I thought that I had burst my spleen
I took it to the doctor quick
"look," I said. and she said, "ick"
then mentioned to my husband Dick
"I think your wife is very sick"
"oh no!" said Dick, "oh woe," said he
"now who will cook and clean for me?
  and wash my socks and underwear?
  what will I do, with no wife there?
  this all is more than I can bear
"my mother never taught me cooking
  she only aided me in looking
  for someone who would do for me
  the things which had been done by she"


Helen said...

Funny! Bland is definitely not good.

Susie Clevenger said...

This is so cute..thank goodness my husband has always liked to cook. Hope you feel better soon!!

Mary Ann Potter said...

Get well fast! Nifty little poem inspired by a not-so-nifty circumstance!

Abin Chakraborty said...

Get well soon Kay.It was a funny piece.

kaykuala said...

To each his own,Kay! We have to faithfully meet our own aspirations. Do it well and good luck to you!


Mary said...

This made me chuckle this morning when I read it. Some people really DO never learn to cook....

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ha! Yes, I'm sure there are many men out there with similar fears. I'm glad he has taken to trying out his new kitchen - it is his kitchen too :)

Peggy said...

Glad he learned to cook and is even fixing up the kitchen. I hope you are at least over coughing up green! Be well. Your poem did make me smile.

Ella said...

I'm glad you both are enjoying the kitchen! You poem made me smile...
Sending you get well wishes! :D

Herotomost said...

Hoollllahhh!!! That was too good! Not sure if my cooking would suffice....but I would be more than willing to pick up the pizza or chinese! Loved it.

Susan said...

This gave me giggles, so I hope you truly are well and that he truly learned to cook! Have you been to Mama Zen's blog lately? Her "Other Housewives" takes this into a different place, but you may enjoy it.