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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

For Real Toads: with Grace, the Tanka

At the writers' group, Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, Grace has introduced us to another ancient Japanese poetry form, the Tanka, or "short poem"...a five-line poem with a clear division or turning point between the upper phrase and the lower phrase.
A Tanka should include yugen "a feeling both broad and deep, a subtle and profound atmosphere, and infinite tranquil space with lingering suggestiveness."
All of that in five lines? Yes, and Grace has also asked us to write three Tanka, while including a mysterious instruction about linking up with another poet.


*
day's sky clothed in grey
and night's sky clouded in black
give way to a dawn
of glorious enchantment
intoxicating the birds
*
day's sky wrapt in blue
bright birds soaring above green
intoxicate Man
who sighs, unable to fly
and weeps, being chained to Earth
*
Man, the envious,
accomplishes much on Earth:
now flies, dives and soars
while birds, who do not envy,
still sing to welcome the dawn.

19 comments:

Herotomost said...

How cool was this. I like the way you tied them together pointing out the wants, desires and realities of being who and what we are. Really enjoyed these...great work.

Lorna Cahall said...

Hi Kay,
I posted tankas after you did and I'm checking in. I guess there is another challenge coming along.

zongrik said...

i like how they flowed

three cultural revolutionary tanka

Mary said...

Beautiful work, Kay!! Among my favorite of yours.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I LOVE these, especially the last one!!!!! Way to write, kiddo!

Marian said...

very, very nice. yay!

Ella said...

Wow Kay!
I loved how you tied them together! Your imagery was so beautiful...
Bravo!

Susie Clevenger said...

Love these...man gets so many things wrong while nature has such perfect "flight"

Kerry O'Connor said...

These are little gems to delight a Skylover's eye.

Laurie Kolp said...

I especially like the second one... although they are all good.

turtlememoir said...

love the images here, Kay - your tanka are gloriously enchanting

Mary Ann Potter said...

Beautifully composed - unity and flow without sacrificing form. I loved your work, Kay.

Kathie Brown said...

Oh, I love this poem! Just brilliant!

Mystic_Mom said...

How you tied all these together is just wonderful...truly an enjoyable treat to read your words.

Mystic_Mom said...

You wove these together so well, and yet each could stand alone and be complete. Well done!

chiccoreal said...

Dear Kay: Love how the birds were drunk on the dawn~!

intoxicating the birds

Wonderful springy Tanka~!

Hannah said...

I love your blogging for peace and your sweet Lindy, such a lovely place to be! I enjoy your third so much especially the very last line. Thank you!

Margaret said...

The sky clothed in grey -- made me pause and appreciate the photo! Nice.

And man's inability to fly, weeping, chained to the earth follows up the first paragraph splendidly with it's contrast - despair vs. intoxication.

The third is thought provoking... man got what he wanted (in a fashion) but still isn't happy.

Nice that you were able to tie the three together - that was way beyond my talent!

vivinfrance said...

3 great linked Tanka.