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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Succinctly yours: methodical


The more methodical mothers arrived at the daycare early and chose the best ride-on toys for their toddlers. Cynthia had three other children to rush out the door in time for the school bus, so she was seldom able to get organized enough to arrive early.
Then she always had to choose the green ride-on car, which was too short for her tall toddler, or one of the two red and yellow ones with wobbly wheels. Cynthia Junior always complained.
Cynthia Senior would sigh and convince her namesake to “drive” the red one with the least wobbly wheels. “It may not be fast, but it’s reliable,” she’d say.
Therefore, when she was late returning to the daycare one day, she overheard her daughter saying to the supervisor, “My mom may not be fast, but she’s really idle.”
139 words

Posted for Succinctly Yours
Grandma, of Grandma's Goulash, posts a photo each week and asks us to use it as inspiration for a short story of 140 words, or a very short story of 140 characters including spaces and punctuation.
I usually go for the 140 characters because I need to learn not to overwrite, but this story just couldn't be told that quickly.
There is also an optional word of the week, chosen not by Grandma but by her daughter, who hasn't seen the picture. This week's word is methodical.
To see how other writer-bloggers saw the photo and used the word of the week (or not, as they chose) please click


19 comments:

Martha Z said...

I love this one, yours is an inspired story.

Jim said...

It's wonderful, Kay. Kids get the jist of things quickly, sometimes not quite right though.

Your ยต-fiction story about Cyntia Jr's. idle mom reminded me of our granddaughter. She once told her teacher that today her mom had the bourban. She couldn't pronounce Suburban (a Chevy model SUV) very good.
..

Helen said...

Ah the first in best dressed situation! Poor mum so much to do! We all know that feeling.

SparkleFarkle said...

LOL! Very good! Your Succinctly Yours entry is reminiscent of Art Linkletter TV days. I always wanted to be one of his interviewees on the "Kids Say the Darndest Things" portion of House Party! (<--cLiCky-cLiCkY!)

BY THE BY: Linky is shunning me again this week (<--RATS! because it has me unsuccessfully jumping through glitchy technical hoops just about every week!), so until Grandma or Calico are able to add me to the participation list, here's my link to this week's entry. Please stop by? Thanks! SF~~~~~*

http://sparkle-soup.blogspot.com/2011/09/orintholgical-dejectally-yours.html

Susie Clevenger said...

Love the story especially the last line...seems just the words a young one would say...

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Great story, little ones really do say the strangest things. Well written.

SquirrelQueen said...

That is so cute, it sounds just like something a small child would say. Poor mom, she does her best.

Mara said...

I'm chuckling away here! Love it!!

Seasons said...

What an ending! A new dictionary for mothers where, idle is a synonym for reliable. Very funny, and just the kind of thing that could actually happen.

jabblog said...

Thanks for the Monday morning smile, Kay:-)

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Haha! Kids do come out with things like that. Thanks for the morning laugh.

Rinkly Rimes said...

A neat little story and the muddled word seems entirely credible.

Pat said...

I laughed a LOT at the last line! Things kids say can be so hilarious.

Volunteering in a kindergarten class, as the class was singing The Star Spangled Banner, I heard a little girl singing "...were so gallantly sleeping" (instead of streaming).

Leslie said...

very cute. and isn't that the way of things with toddlers? :)

Sonia Lal said...

Love that last line! LOL Funny!

Rekha said...

This was a really good tale. Still Smiling. :)

W.G. Cambron said...

Lol, that was cute. Kids say some of the funniest things.

Pooch said...

As a teacher, I heard many revealing and funny comments about parents. For example, Little David told me that his Mom farted for the first time last night!!
:)

Grandma's Goulash said...

What a good tale. It's fun to get a child's perspective. When I was young, I always wanted to try the peas mentioned in the alphabet song. You know, the elemeno peas!