Saturday, May 26, 2012

Stressed-out poem for Fireblossom Friday

Fireblossom's prompt for the writers' group Imaginary Garden with Real Toads yesterday was "stress" and she didn't mean "accentuate the first syllable" either.
For Fireblossom Friday, she wanted us to write about what stresses us out— and me just coming through a kitchen renovation— according to experts the biggest stressor a marriage can endure. Dick was happily oblivious. I, however, was so stressed I couldn't possibly write a poem about it.
Today, I was halfway through reading an article in Mclean's Magazine when I realized it might make a fun poem.

everyone is getting lax
but saying “I am stressed to the max”
can’t plan your wedding?
can’t plant your bedding plants?
hire someone to do it!
don’t know how to do-it-yourself,
can’t put together an Ikea shelf?
look in the paper
or else look online
a do-it-for-you-er
you’re sure to find
too stressed to find words
to propose to your lover?
have a ghost writer
hover above her
clean up your kitchen,
mop up your floors?
too stressed for any
old-fashioned chores?
can’t bake a cookie?
just call your bookie
and he’ll find someone
who isn’t a rookie
can’t feed your baby?
not even maybe?
wet nurses are coming
back into style
can’t be a hockey mom,
too stressed to think?
rent someone to take
your kid to the rink!
too tired to cheer him on?
what a phenomenon!
hire a cheering squad
and win your kid’s applause
no good deed’s too trivial—
hire someone convivial
to make your glum child smile
for the photographer at school
my world used to be
a do-it-yourself place
we used to build go-karts
for a neighborhood race
our dads built furniture
(sometimes unsteady)
and always our mothers
for baking were ready
flour and sugar, eggs and good flavor
baking for all the go-karters to savor
but gone are the days
of the fifties and sixes
in this millennium 
stress needs easy fixes


Fireblossom said...

Oh my goodness. Very true and very funny, Kay! I loved the hovering ghost writer and the cookie/bookie/rookie rhyme. Thanks for making me laugh! (Though I suppose I could always hire someone to laugh FOR me...)

hedgewitch said...

This is all too true, Kay. It reminds me of the old joke about the man who was soooo lazy--how lazy was he?--he married a pregnant woman. I don't think anyone is quite ready to hand that one over yet, but we're getting pretty close. Loved esp. the hover above her stanza--had me laughing out loud.

Kay L. Davies said...

@ FB — Even I didn't think of hiring someone to laugh for me. Too funny.

@ HW — You're right, we have surrogate mothers and sperm banks, so the old joke isn't so funny any more, LOL.


Fran said...

A really funny reflection on today's society! But there is a growing move back to self reliance, hopefully! Xxx

Kerry O'Connor said...

You hit this one out the ball park, with the wit and rhyme. Loved it.

Lolamouse said...

So true! People now hire professionals to teach their infants how to SLEEP!

Misty Dawn said...

Wonderful! (and very true) My grandparents built their brick home by hand. Grandma was pregnant and carrying bricks to Grandpa!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is really funny. And I admire your humor in the middle of home renos, too, kiddo!