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Monday, July 23, 2012

For Real Toads: Ella's ancestor challenge

1914-1918





she held the oar
and tried to smile
but her hair fell into her eye;
and gave her an excuse to cry—
she couldn’t tell them now,
it would be too late:

I love a man and now
he’s dead—
his ship went down
and I want to drown
in this lake
but perhaps I’ll drown
in tears
instead



Posted for Ella's "ancestor" challenge at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, an online writers' group I love a lot. Very interesting challenge, Ella. Thanks!
Photo supplied as prompt by Ella's Edge

8 comments:

Daryl Edelstein said...

nice!

Peggy said...

Kay I like the way you arranged this poem in the two parts. Sad story.

flipside records said...

There's always a sea of tears behind every woman's daytime face. I love this:

"but her hair fell into her eye;
and gave her an excuse to cry"

I like the different treatments you gave the narrative section and the following expression of her deepest thoughts.

flipsiderecords.wordpress.com

Susan said...

Beautiful take on the photo. Death is a hard adjustment for the living.

I cannot help thinking of the story "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin, in which the widow has the opposite reaction--but she and her husband were not that lose.

Jenn Jilks said...

You create such wonderful visions. Wonderful.

Ella said...

Well Done and so likely true! I love the way you wrote it ;D

Heaven said...

I like the external and internal dialogue ~ Very lovely share ~

zongrik said...

so typical for that day, a woman who lost his man at sea. good choice.

4 child with book senryu