Friday, August 30, 2013

"Dastard" rhymes with "bastard" she said

Over at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, Herotomost has all the Real Toads in a sleazy joint in New Orleans. The Pulitzer Prize for Poetry has been stolen right out from under the nose of our boss Toad, and we are asked to solve the mystery.
Better check the Toads link first for details, then check my solution below:

by Kay Davies, August, 2013

Basin Street is the street
where the elite
always meet,
but Bourbon Street
ain't got elite
for you to meet.
The bad bastards
and bad buzzards
are there, and hard.
Hard tattooed faces
in hard cold places
talk of horse races.
The sumo wrestlers
were just hustlers
but they had
Sherry’s back,
and Sherry
had the knack
of finishing poems
in English so foreign
you’d think it
was written,
each word bitten,
and then splittin’
from South Africa.
The Pulitzer committee
thought the poem witty
and awarded it the prize,
Wikimedia photos
but it was a surprise
to Missus S.A.
on that very day
when the lights went out.
Her poem, her life’s work
had, by some light-quirk,
been submitted by a frog
who wasn’t a real toad
n o t a t a l l a t a l l.
Whereupon all
the Real Toads were writing
and they were inciting
and hoping for sightings
of the dastard
—that bastard.
He had written the
end, you see,
not uncircumspectly 
but just incorrectly.
It should have 
said “braai”
but in USA
what do they do
but say
When the committee
came out to the city
to figure an end
to the furor
a skeleton slipped
out of his crypt
and claimed to be
the fuhrer.
“You’re crazy,”
they said, 
“and you are too dead
 for the Pulitzer,
 so we’ll give it instead
 to Missus S.A.”
and the real toads were happy
for the rest of the day.
And as for Sherry
she got away to the west coast of Vancouver Island where she lived happily ever after, never writing another word of South African English, but tying herself to trees every now and then, to protest clearcut logging, oil pipelines, unrecyclables, and cruelty to animals. 


Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
...I admit this one's a mystery to me... you had me searching half an hour for Sherry...

The skies and shadows preceding preserved the balance!! YAM xx

Susan said...

Cackle, Gasp! Give me air!

Lolamouse said...

Brilliant! Sherry is NEVER going to live down the tat!

Herotomost said...

Haaaaaaaa!!!!!!! that was sooooo good Kay!!!! And to think Sherry Blue Sky would do such a thing...she is as crafty as they How much fun was it reading this poem. And I am going to look for that place where they play the Sugar Blues. I just like the sound of Sugar Blues. Thanks so much for playing rock and I really appreciate your sense of humor. Didn't know if I was going to offend anyone on this or not, its all in good fun!!!

Kerry O'Connor said...

You are 100% correct! 'Barbecue' would be a dead giveaway in an SA poem.. Here we braai (pronounced 'bry' to rhyme with 'try') meat on an open fire. This was very clever, Kay.

Hannah said...

LOVE your continuance in rhyme of this mystery, Kay!! Such fun! I love the reference to the Sumo's having Sherry's back!! :)

Helen said...


Marian said...

you are too dead for the Pulitzer. snort!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Hilarious, but I protest my innocence! Honest! I do not speak Afrikaans........I've been framed in order to protect the real wordsnatcher.....I suspect Ms. Kay!Do I protest too much?

This entire Friday event has been the most fun ever!!! Corey, you are so much fun.

Powell River Books said...

I've been to New Orleans once and it was a magical place to visit, especially Bourbon Street. - Margy

Unknown said...

Good one Kay - you became the subject of my poem hope you don't mind :)

Anonymous said...

clever and hilarious

Ella said...

Clever and so fun~ YOU make me wonder Kay-;D

Other Mary said...

Wow! That's great! :o)

Susie Clevenger said...

This is hilarious!!