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Sunday, October 13, 2013

Sunday challenge at the Imaginary Garden

I didn't quite succeed in writing loop poetry for Grace's challenge this weekend at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads.

The challenge was to write a poem in which the second line started with the word from the end of the first line, and the third with the word from the end of the second, and so on.

I plead my infirm health for the fact that I didn't quite succeed. But I came close. Some of my lines start with the word(s) that ended the previous line.

Grace says the form was created by Hellon. I don't believe Hellon and I have met one another, so perhaps I needn't panic. It still seems like a lovely idea, this loop poetry, and I'll try it again another time when I'm feeling less loopy and more poetic.

Meanwhile, here is my something of a contribution for this weekend.

The Rehearsal

it won’t be possible to go
to go to her as I would like
like days of old when we were young
seeing her now is like a taste
a taste of sadness on my tongue
  
tongue-tied now, I cannot say
say what I long to say to her
words strangle me on their way out
out of my mouth, but it is true

Wikipedia
French actor Coquelin

true as birds come home to nest
to nest with her is my desire
but if I can’t say the words to her
I’ll never say them to her sire

sire, my lord, my liege, my king
I love your daughter dearly
dearly now and evermore
and evermore more dearly...


by Kay L. Davies,
October 13, 2013

11 comments:

Vandana Sharma said...

A beautiful expression of love:)

Grace said...

You created a wonderful scenario of that rehearsal Kay ~ I can imagine how tongue tied the suitor is but love prevails all ~

Thanks for sharing your loopy words. I hope you enjoyed it, which is the most important part of writing ~ Happy Thanksgiving to you ~

Jennifer A. Jilks said...

Good for you! I've been too frazzled to sit and write poetry these days.
Hubby's still not well, with stomach issues. However, we are managing.
My clients have been difficult cases. I'm happy to visit you, my friend!
Cheers from Cottage Country Ontario , ON, Canada!

Gattina said...

Geez ! that's difficult, too much brain gymnastic for me !

Marian said...

you managed to write a loopy poem without it going all trite, which i found really impossible. so good for you! this form is crazy (or at least i think so). but i like your poem, Kay :)

Mama Zen said...

Kay, I think that you did a beautiful job with this!

Ella said...

Kay I love your loops! :D It is bravo good~ I want to write another one! Thank you for sharing with me earlier on my blog~ You make my heart happy :D

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Well, Kay, I think you did wonderfully with this looped tale........well done!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Herein lies a complete tale!

Margaret said...

You twisting the rules a bit created a very nice tale that "sings". :)

Loredana Donovan said...

This is lovely old fashioned courtship--charming! :)