I found my book of graph paper and intended to sketch a layout of the house after excess furniture and junk are removed, but, when I opened the book, I found a three-verse poem I wrote I-don't-know-when. I see I've made the syllable count of each five-line stanza 5-7-5-7-7 but I can't remember why.
It's a sappy sort of springtime thing, with little or no redeeming value except to compare birds with mankind. Sort of oh-I-wish-that-I-could-be a-little-bird-up-in-a-tree. But, with 30 poems to do in 30 days, I takes 'em as I finds 'em, in a book of graph paper, or on the back of an envelope.
Richard Schear photos |
day's sky clothed in grey
and night's sky clothed in black
give way to a dawn
of glorious enchantment,
intoxicating the birds.
*
day's sky wrapt in in blue,
bright birds soaring above green,
intoxicate Man
who sighs, unable to fly,
and weeps, chained to earth.
*
Man, the envious,
accomplishes much on Earth:
now flies, dives and soars
while birds, who do not envy,
still sing to welcome the dawn.
by Kay Davies
Photo by Gloria Johal |
15 comments:
wow, i love this, Kay! it's perfect, especially the clothed sky. gorgeous.
Wow! I love that bright yellowy-orange bird! Such sights of Spring must inspire poetry.
@ Marian — Thanks!
@ Kerry — That's an oriole, probably a Baltimore Oriole. I don't remember seeing them when I was growing up in BC's Okanagan Valley, but my childhood friend Gloria, who still lives there, took photos of this one in her yard.
OMW I LOVE that you were going to another task re your house, and found a poem! Kay,you're the best! I love the "Day's sky wrapt in blue." You're a star and I just hang on every word you say/write. Blessings. Jo
I love it. Completely!
I'm glad the lightbox is back: so good to see those lovely images enlarged.
Nice poem and a beautiful bird!
Your poem, pictures and introduction all made me smile. How do you tell a real writer? She has poems written on graph paper and envelopes!
@ Tammy — Thanks, that's a great compliment!
K
They do not envy... and enviable trait. Ironic.
I very much like the rhythm of this poem, Kay, and the last lines in particular are poignant. Seems mankind is always striving while birds are busy being. :)
I like it, Kay. Did you change anything now that you are ____er?
5-7-5-7-7 form is the Tanka, generally used when you have more to say than in a haiku or Senryū. The last two lines are usually a little kicker with a differing thought or an explanation.
..
@ Jim — Thanks, Jim, I'll have to make a new note about the tanka, although I'm sure I have it somewhere.
And no, I didn't change anything. Just copied it as I found it on the graph paper!
K
Lovely, feel good words.
This ended up quite profound Kay. With all we have we still envy the birds with their freedom, and they do not envy us. What gem you've found!
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