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| © Ellen Wilson |
stars fade as clouds hide the moon
but the laughter of children
is still heard
from one door to the next
excited and free
though watchful parents stand near
to conquer their fear
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| © Isadora Gruye |
To: Kerry
I made several seriously dreadful attempts at writing to your prompt for this weekend's Sunday mini-challenge. I copied out the rhyme scheme, line by line, and studied it, tried to do it, but failed completely.
I did, however, manage the syllable count, Kerry, and my last two lines do rhyme as per instruction! I'm so relieved you provide us with a free verse option, and so glad you also included photos. The ones by Ella and Izy turned out to be just what I needed. My submission is certainly predictable, and possibly quite banal, but I can't quite write Hallowe'en horror, being of a somewhat nervous disposition, you understand.
Thanks for continuing the Sunday challenge. I always enjoy it, whatever my result.
K
18 comments:
Kay, I think this is one of your best. Evokes the Hallowe'en mood wonderfully. Love the watchful parents.
Oh Kay I think you're entirely too hard on yourself! You're piece sets the mood for Halloween wonderfully. I'll try to stop by the garden a bit later, if I can get the elephants to cooperate. They do love to dance so! And thanks for your very nice comment on my silliness. :o)
I know little about writing but I like the shape of your poem. Not an easy subject to write about.
Lashes with wet noodles, not allowed! This reminded me of all the dark, cold, usually wet Halloween nights my friends and I followed our kids from house to house ~ paper cups of wine or alcoholic beverage to fuel us - the kids did just fine on their candy fuel.
No way you failed! I think this glimpse of warm family time is both unexpected and charming!
I really like the laughter line in this best--nothing makes kids laugh like Halloween, after all, unless it's Christmas, and too often the scary aspects get all the play. This is a neatly written and well-balanced piece, Kay, despite going rogue on the rhyme--or maybe because of it. I know I said several bad words making mine behave itself. :_P
I messed up my last two lines, but had fun anyway! I think yours so sets the mood of a holiday I love :D
Image captured well here...the detail of parents standing-by for their child makes me smile!
Wonderful and true. Long ago when I babysat, it was the children who got me to overcome any fear--thunder and lightning, etc--because I pretended there was nothing to worry about until it became true. Excellent use of the form!
The ending gives the reader a lot to think about... nice job, Kay!
You did a grand job, Kay. The lines really capture the fun of Halloween time.
oooh i really like what you came up with, Kay! i feel like you've described a slice of my life. we'll see if Sandy cancels our tricks and treats.
also i feel compelled to say: it's SOOOO TINY that my old eyes had to strain mightily to read your words :)
I like the thought of parents standing near - just in case. So true.
well done
I think you did a great job with the form - I found it quite difficult - yours is lyrical and rhym-y but not too rhym-y if you know what I mean. k.
Love your version...I attempted it and mine was awful so I went free verse. :) Love the mood of this..just a little "boo" in it and nothing dreadful. It conveys the children's excitement and diligence of their parents to keep them safe. btw I am reading your page quite well!
Oh, I adore the ending. So fun, I can't wait for tomorrow night!
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