Wednesday, October 17, 2012

For Real Toads: a dear John letter

Dear John Deere
I can't, I fear,
understand, John dear,
what this big green machine
is really meant to mean.

I see them on the prairie
and to me they're very scary
with their great big wheels
and their other big deals.

Don't they run over gophers
and unthinking men's loafers?
Or snakes or frogs?
Or cats or dogs?
I can't help but surmise
it's not good for the wildlife
(or the shoes).
Wikipedia photos

Look at these pointy green
things which look quite mean—
torpedo-shaped, set to blow
the prairie into smithereens.

(Or so it seems to me.)


Dear John Deere
from my vantage point here
on the edge of the prairie
but not quite "of" the prairie,
I'm thinking a nice little green
might make an attractive tractor for a girl who wants to seem to live the prairie dream.

Please send a ride-on-mower by extra-special order and sent it fast and quick.

With love from your
greatly confused fan,


The wonderful and talented Isadora Gruye has asked members and visitors at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads to "write a poem about the mechanical nature of the modern harvest". 

What about those of us who came to Alberta to marry a businessman? What if I know nothing about farming and less about harvesting? What if I spent my entire life working in newspapers and printing shops? I know what a platen press is. And a California job case. I can strip a job and burn a plate. I know paper, ink, typefaces and type sizes. I can spell like a hot damn, and can find spelling and grammatical errors in everything from phone books to a Margaret Atwood book published by Oxford University Press.

But if the sheaves need bringing in, it won't be done by me.


Joyful said...

Well done, Kay! This was cute.

I hope you are feeling a bit better now ;-) Hugs.xx

aprille said...

Kay, I can just see you on a cute little quadbike with matching green and yellow outfit :-)
Personally I don't mind the noisy harvesters, and much wildlife escapes to the hedgerows here. It's the deadly booms on the sprayers that make me sick to my stomach each time I see one in the even have to put danger notices up along the roads that traverse these clouds of poison which shorten our lives and ruin the quality of what we have left.
I could was quite eloquent but know it would be to no avail under our present legislation.
Glad you too managed a bit of levity on this deadly serious subject.

kaykuala said...

John Deere the mean green machine! A big name in everything farming. A smooth verse and the wonderful rhymes faithfully maintained. Nicely Kay!


jabblog said...

Excellent! As for expertise - we are all experts in our own ways but no-one can know everything so we must cooperate:-)

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is so funny, Kay. I love your idea of writing a Dear John.. that was inspired.

hedgewitch said...

Ah, my buddy John Deere; as a parks worker, I've ridden the big ones and the small ones, and I may say having my own small one to mow my personal acreage was a dream come true. I enjoyed this, and even more your footnote about your own area of expertise, Kay--it ties in well with the fading of the family farm Izy talked about as in the last two days alone I've read of two prominent print institutions (Newsweek and The Guardian) going to all digital production.

Patricia Anne McGoldrick said...

Green was the colour sported by my Dad's farm machinery. The long green line tilled many-a-field.
I am sure that John understood that at least one person on the farm rode/wrote in a different direction! This poem was a chuckle to read.:)

Mama Zen said...

This is really cute!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I so love this, especially your comments are so hilarious!

Grandma's Goulash said...

Took me back to my youth and the farm. John Deere was a revered name, although I couldn't understand why guys got so excited about tractors. I drove ours in the field during hay season by the time I was twelve. Far easier workb than loading the bales onto the trailer, but still a hot and dusty job.

Thanks for the memories and some morning smiles.

Herotomost said...

I love those pics....John Deere is such a piece of American history. The way you made this like a letter was clever and cool. Great work girl, loved every minute of it.

Heaven said...

My dad worked for John Deere for many years ~ Your words just brought me back to those years ~ Enjoyed your fun take Kay ~

manicddaily said...

Very charming! I love the loafers - double meaning too! I am, on the one hand, against factory farms, and a bit suspicious of too much machinery but have a bit of a soft spot for John Deere, as old U.S. company.

All so complex! YOu bring that out here.

Thanks. k.

Isadora Gruye said...

love your playfulness and spirit of adventure! I, too, a city girl still have a hard time grasping my own prompt...well done!

Ella said...

YOU are so clever! I lover your take on the prompt! :D I made a sign for hubby when his ship was coming in, it said, Don Deere(we bought him a John Deere lawn mower for his homecoming! (Navy ship homecoming)
I made the sign in John Deere colors. He said, he had no problem seeing us from a far, lol
Love this~

Kay said...

This was so cute, Kay. I hope John sends you what you want.

Hannah said...

I enjoy your humor, I like on the edge of but not quite of the prairie!! Nicely done!!

Margaret said...

Dearest John Deere, This is too clever and I LOVED it. I agree, the little lawn mower looks cute, but the others look like monsters.