Thursday, June 28, 2018

If you missed this, here it is again

Wishing my friends in the US
a very happy Fourth of July!
(Posted also last week on Skywatch Friday)

Note: I am quoting below, without permission, from Verbatim: The Language Quarterly, back issues of which, I understand, will be available online in the near future. Meanwhile, I thought this bit of fun was a lot of fun.

Grammarians take note!
"We (at Grammarly) gently poke fun at the messes people can get into with English, and the misunderstandings that arise from the language."

I'll be watching for it to come online, but now I'd like to quote a few choice bits, as Canada's neighbours to the south get ready to celebrate their Independence Day holiday.

"One of the causes of  the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. During the War, the Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. Finally the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis.

"Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. 
"He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared, ‘A horse divided against itself cannot stand.’
Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

"George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution, the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

"Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat.
He said, 'In onion there is strength.' Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.
He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation, and the 14th Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor.
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theatre and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.
The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career."

(from Verbatim: The Language Quarterly)
Posting a few days early for
Fiona's memorable meme


Spare Parts and Pics said...

Thanks for the laughs. Now I need to erase the image in my head of Lincoln wearing only a tall silk hat and signing the Emasculation Proclamation!!!

Fun60 said...


Charliedownunder said...

Crikey ..... how funny is that?? Mum loves the English language and she found that very amusing. She makes more of a mess of it than she dares think about and it's getting worse the older she gets. The words just don't come out of her mouth the way they should sometimes.

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Kay, this so silly and smiles are just what I needed today*! I enjoy wordplay (we like to read each other headlines and inadvertent language mistakes in the two daily local papers we subscribe to)... sometimes every bit as bad/funny as these you quote...proofreaders and editors are apparently a thing of the distant past! (* wishing we too lived North of the border).

Marcia said...

Are you sure you typed all this correctly?

Carol @Comfort Spring Station said...


lotusleaf said...

I laughed and laughed. Thanks a lot!

Jo said... shot in his seat by one of the actors... Oh Kay, I love picking out these grammatical blunders in writing and try not to make them myself. I'll be watching your blog for when the online Verbatim appears. Have a wonderful day. Jo PS Are you OK now?

carol l mckenna said...

Wonderful history post for the Holiday ~

Happy Day to you,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)

Jenn Jilks said...

Old dead white men! And it's all going to hell!

Joyful said...

Cute post Kay! Happy 4th of July to our southern neighbours. I love how patriotic they can be on their special day.

Lady Fi said...

Loved this!

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

This is hilarious!!

eileeninmd said...

Hello, I try not to make these errors. But, I admit I am not perfect. Fun post, thanks for sharing! Enjoy your day and new week!

Phil Slade said...

Good fun there Kay. Too "fake" even by today's standards. Hope you are both well and enjoying the summer. We are, most unusual with sunny days for two solid months.

Klara S said...

Very funny. Happy Independence Day to USA.

Lea said...

Too Funny!
Can we blame at least some of these on the AutoCorrect function on our computers?

rupam sarma said...

Nice to read :))

aspiritofsimplicity said...


Al said...

Hope you had a wonderful Canada Day! Since I'm English and American I'm confused about what to do on July 4th! (Not really - I celebrate like all Americans.)

Angie said...

HILARIOUS! Confirms beyond a doubt that English is the most confusing language!

Sharon Wagner said...

We had a very all American 4th this week. Hot dogs and ice cream topped off with fireworks.

Kenneth Cole Schneider said...

Funny! It reminds me of our daughter's essay on mercy killing, which she repeatedly referred to as "Youth in Asia." At least she couldn't be charged with plagiarism!