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Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Spring cleaning is two dirty words here


"What's on your mind?" Facebook always asks me. Sometimes there's nothing on my mind, which condition I attribute to my steadily advancing age.
We've had a lot of fun
However, right now, as well as many, many times in the past few years, my mind has been on dumpsters. Our garage, our shed, and even our house — full of enough junk to fill two dumpsters! Only one or two of the things in there will ever see the light of day, and then only when my husband takes out what few items he needs for his work.
Yes, it's nice having a husband who, in his senior years and retired from teaching, is still working. I appreciate that, I really do, and I’m very proud of him. But his work and his extracurriculars leave him no time for anything other than working, playing tennis, playing something called pickle ball, refereeing high school sports and walking the dog. Therefore, but certainly not as a direct result of either the dog or the pickle, he has no interest in ridding our property of superfluous superflussities.
With all due deference, wife to husband, I must insist that I do not want to die and leave all the junk for his daughters to clean up.
They are dear young women but they would be well within their rights to burn down the garage, the shed, and even the house, were it not illegal and dangerous to theirownselves as well as to the neighbours.

Himself in Ecuador




I was younger once
So now I'm looking online to see if I can find a dumpster rental company, preferably one staffed by several very strong young men, because whatever strength I ever once had, is a distant memory. I remember I could outrun my brother Rob for about 100 yards (or metres) when he was 14 and I was 35, but that was grim determination more than athleticism. And it was also half my lifetime ago.
Sigh.
In addition to Dick's daughters, we have to consider Rob, and also my niece Jodi. As executors of my will, they might also have to come out to eastern Alberta from western British Columbia, to help with dumpster-loading. 
I don't wish that dumpster-loading chore on anyone, except maybe-perhaps my husband hisownself — but he is unavailable, due to pickle balls, tennis balls, basketballs, footballs, and the abovementioned employment.
Je t’adore, mon cher Richard, I really truly do, but I must confess I would much rather you had fewer balls.

Hoping to link with Lady Fi's wonderful meme, Our World Tuesday

10 comments:

Lady Fi said...

Oh dear - I know the feeling! Nagging works - but strong men and women to help get rid of the junk would be even better!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
&*>... I had something of an echo of this conversation with the father recently and it went along the lines of "are you keeping all this for us to light your funeral pyre with?" !!! Good luck with dumpstering my friend! YAM xx

Jenn Jilks said...

I understand, totally! Happily, my husband retired before I did. He began doing groceries and dishes. We'd had housecleaning peeps come in, so we stopped that.
You are so right about the junk. I know my daughter had to clean out her father and step-mother's house. he'd died and her step-mom had dementia. It was a disaster.
Do you have 1-800-I've got junk? They will do that for you.
My client, age 93, and her caregiver, her daughter aged 70, are having someone come and clean out their garage. It's a good plan, love!

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Superflussities. I just had to type that word which I assume you just coined. Because I love it (the word, not the, well, the superflussities themselves of course). We got rid of of a lot of ours when we sold out to travel , but boy do they have a way of creeping back (new ones, different ones, but still...)

It's good to have a husband who has lots of interests even if they don't include dumpster filling. My naughty side really wants to say something about your last sentence, but I won't ;>)

Jo said...

OH Kay, dear Kay, you have such a way with words! Superfluous superflussities !

Penelope Puddlisms said...

Only two dumpster’s worth of junk? I think I have a solution. Pickleball equipment stashed waaaay in back of shed … other sports equipment in back of the garage. Must clean out to find it! :)

Birgitta said...

What a great post!

Gattina said...

I too know how you are feeling with a "kind" husband as decoration in the way ! I get nervous when I think about our yard ! I can't do anything in there anymore because of my breathing and DH has arthritis ! And when I think of all the stuff accumulated over 40 years in our house I get nightmares ! But since I am back from Egypt I feel much better and have charged my batteries !

Powell River Books said...

You are too funny. I can understand the balls comment. We are headed to the States again for some ball sports, this time softball in Oregon. And we just got satellite Internet at the cabin so Wayne can watch more sports (all involving balls of some sort of course). I did some spring cleaning of my own this week and it involved two other dirty words, compost toilet. I'll tell you, it takes real balls to tackle that chore. - Margy

Mara said...

Are you going somewhere Kay? You're talking as if you will soon be exchanging the temporary for the eternal? Surely not?

However, assuming you are not just yet moving off towards the great hunting fields of the sky, I hope you get the dumpster and the very handsome young men to help you load. But make sure there are plenty of photos to share. Please...