Monday, July 23, 2012

For Real Toads: Ella's ancestor challenge

1914-1918





she held the oar
and tried to smile
but her hair fell into her eye;
and gave her an excuse to cry—
she couldn’t tell them now,
it would be too late:

I love a man and now
he’s dead—
his ship went down
and I want to drown
in this lake
but perhaps I’ll drown
in tears
instead



Posted for Ella's "ancestor" challenge at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, an online writers' group I love a lot. Very interesting challenge, Ella. Thanks!
Photo supplied as prompt by Ella's Edge

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7 comments:

  1. PeggyJuly 23, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    Kay I like the way you arranged this poem in the two parts. Sad story.

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  2. AnonymousJuly 23, 2012 at 5:57 PM

    There's always a sea of tears behind every woman's daytime face. I love this:

    "but her hair fell into her eye;
    and gave her an excuse to cry"

    I like the different treatments you gave the narrative section and the following expression of her deepest thoughts.

    flipsiderecords.wordpress.com

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  3. SusanJuly 23, 2012 at 6:18 PM

    Beautiful take on the photo. Death is a hard adjustment for the living.

    I cannot help thinking of the story "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin, in which the widow has the opposite reaction--but she and her husband were not that lose.

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  4. Jenn JilksJuly 23, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    You create such wonderful visions. Wonderful.

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  5. EllaJuly 23, 2012 at 7:35 PM

    Well Done and so likely true! I love the way you wrote it ;D

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  6. ScarletJuly 23, 2012 at 7:52 PM

    I like the external and internal dialogue ~ Very lovely share ~

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  7. AnonymousJuly 23, 2012 at 11:31 PM

    so typical for that day, a woman who lost his man at sea. good choice.

    4 child with book senryu

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